Phone Call

I was laying in bed with Reese tonight and I heard my phone ring and for a brief moment I thought "I wish that was Matt". It's weird how sometimes I am completely fine and others i just lay in my bed and cry. I really miss my brother. We might have talked everyday but we really became really close the few months he loved with us. I wish he would just call me. I miss him so much and I can't really grasp that he isn't in his hospital bed anymore. He isn't even hear with us anymore. Little things just hit me hard sometimes. Especially know that everyone is gone, when people where here I was distracted and when I was distracted it was better. I received a letter from a friend from his young single adult group in our ward and how he affected her life in a good way and how she will always remember him. She spoke of all the wonderful things that Matt is and was. It hit me really hard to hear how he affected others people life in such a positive way and how he doesn't even realize how much he actually did. I miss him. I love him. I know he knew that. That gives me peace but at the same time I am sad.